So now the successful entry into the Museum of Future Technology by Los Tapones De España hinged upon Dexter’s next utterance…
“I want to see a little yellow female of indeterminate age named Doris present a bundle of Amber Shards upon a stylish pedestal made of some obsidian-coloured material.” He announced, and had no idea why he said it.
As he did so he fancied he could actually see the scene he’d just described.
“Who is this female?” He asked his inner self. “How has she entered my beach-bum consciousness?”
But he had no time to conjecture further because the Robot Ticket Collector said:
“Muy bien: you may enter!”
So a few seconds later the five sun-lovers had entered the artificially illuminated museum.
“Come on, boys,” Dexter urged the others, “it’s not like we suffer claustrophobia. Loosen up. relax. Let’s go check this place out!”
So they did…
…by visiting Mr Pong’s Exotic Food restaurant for a cafe con leche and a slice of tortilla. Then they checked out some of what they’d missed by arriving too late in the day by watching a resumé in a small cinema near the entrance.
They watched as Magnuss was unfairly arrested for not misusing the futuristic urinal. They also watched as…
…EvilRoboSecGua’s UFO arrived; and Magnuss’s subsequent use of the space buggy that it carried in its hold…
Remaining on the same subject they witnessed the discovery of the secret hangar by Rudi and Valentine…
As well as the earplug’s ride in the effervescent waters of the green river…
And they were particularly impressed by the earplug’s courageous evacuation of Eyewash Station immediately prior to its self-destruct mechanism activating successfully.
But whilst the new boys were watching the antics of earlier, one of the ‘old boys’ was attempting to regain his freedom…
“This is Wank the Space Wanderer’s Cloak of Invincibility. ” Rudi informed Yu Wah, Android and Wonky. “It renders its wearer invisible. The only reason that its not known as a Cloak of Invisibility is because someone else owns the copyright on that label.”
“Who said that?” Yu Wah inquired.“Where are you? Stop talking from thin air: I’m frightened.”
Any potential explanation of Rudi’s was interrupted by the arrival of their captor and slave owner – Big Mouth, or ‘Gobby’, as he was now known.
“Boys, Girls, and things – I have some good news and some bad news.” The strange being said. “I’ve just seen a broadcast on the Museum’s internal television network: apparently there’s to be an exhibition in the grand hall this evening.”
Rudi didn’t enjoy being a slave, even if he didn’t have to actually do anything slave-like: just being one was bad enough. Consequently his response wasn’t particularly pleasant:
“Don’t tell me: they’re going to hang you up by your bollocks from the basketball hoop.”
Gooby should have taken umbrage, but he was too excited to notice Rudi’s slur.
“No – there’s going to be an exhibition of real-time, live, three-dee farting – and I can’t go!”
“Why not?” Yu Wah inquired reasonably enough.
“Because I’m one of a kind.” Gobby replied. “When people see me they’ll stop watching the farting, and start pointing at me, and possibly poke me with sharp implements. It will be unbearable.”
“I sense that there’s more to this good news / bad news shit.” Rudi stated.
Gobby looked down his considerable gob at Rudi, and said:
“Your senses have not failed you, ear plug. You see I’m so excited about witnessing some real wind-breaking that I’m willing to set you all free if…if…you can get me to the grand hall without anyone actually seeing me or being aware of my presence.”
“Can I have that in writing?” Rudi asked.
Two minutes later…
“You mean – you really can’t see me?” Gobby squealed with delight.
“Check yourself out in the mirror.” Rudi instructed him. “There’s one in the toilet. You might want to clean it first though: I was feeling slightly dejected about slavery, and, well…you know how it is…”
“You smeared excrement all over it, didn’t you?” Gobby sighed.
“Or you could just take our word for it that you’re invisible.” Yu Wah suggested.
But Gobby didn’t take Yu Wah’s word for it. Instead he stared into her beady, rather unattractive eyes. Not only did he see honesty reflected in them; but he also failed to see himself reflected too.
“We slap my privates!” He yelled excitedly. “You’re telling the truth. This is wonderful. Let’s all share a celebration pork luncheon meat sandwich!”
…Los Tapones De España were taking in the delights of futuristic ear plug art.
“Oh it’s lovely.” Tito opined. “But why has it got just the one eye?”
“The other one was poked out with a sharp stick.” Carlos answered expertly.
But despite the undoubted skills of the ear plug artists they quickly tired of the strange alien art, and became very aware of the closeness of the walls and the ceiling’s lack of height. So…
…they decided to get out before panic set in – where upon they encountered their first SubRoboSecGua!
Oh dear, not a brush with the law so soon, surely. See what happens by revisiting – preferably for episode 58.
© Tooty Nolan